An essay by Nasreen Pejvack:

Why is everyone frightened to be called that, even the racists? — Racist words hurt, not just for the victim but for the racist as well — by losing their credibility and respect, and just proving their ignorance.

Yes, this will be about racism, yet again. You may say: “But your whole book, in one way or another, is about different forms of racism.”

True, but those were facts and events concerning the big boys of this world in their big-boys’ clubs; our elite political figures who are reigning over this planet for their own gain. This one is about personal experiences felt, witnessed and related by me and others who were hurt by entitled individuals who believe they are always right – who were not educated in their homes or schools about inclusivity or acceptance of others; who hurt with hateful words and move along with no consideration, yet still manage to feel they are not racist, but simply victims themselves.

I am not talking about those who kill others in places of worship or on the streets. No, I am not talking about physical violence, but about the attitude violence of little people who think of themselves as polished – the peaceful people in quiet peaceful neighborhoods and workplaces who find a person of colour arriving into their entirely white family or into their workplace or into their surroundings some other way. They respond in racist ways, but do not want to believe or accept that they are racist, prejudiced, and bigoted to the core.

Having said all of the above, the word “racist” is actually of recent origin. We have always had small-minded, pitiful, or fanatically religious people within societies, even within families; people who are ready to put down others if they did not fit in or obey their trivial orders.

Such attitudes and behaviours were always around, including fear of the greater success of others, even within their own family or community, or jealousies about why this or that person has something but “not me.”

How many old stories have we read or heard about a brother or nephew killing for the crown, or someone wishing their parents dead so they can get the inheritance sooner? Such feelings of wanting all the attention and success constantly existed within all cultures throughout history, but today’s “racist person” focuses his attention on different ethnicities.

Why is that? After all, we all are born selfish, considering the fact that survivors are the fittest through natural selection – so everyone feels instinctually entitled to step on others to get what they want. However, we also have those altruistic genes mentioned in the scientific literature, though it is so difficult to put them into use and practise in the face of a competitive heartless capitalism that trains everyone to step on each other to get what they want. It is easier to operate under the assumption that “I am the most important and everything has to work for me.” That way you are never wrong and everyone else is to blame for anything that doesn’t line up with your wishes.

Using our selfless genes, we have to work at relationships, give our time to others and community, and don’t expect anything in return. What percentage of the eight billion people on this planet can we expect that from? History shows us that it is not that high at all. Many don’t even know about our altruistic gene.

The story of the word “racist” today is that it has become an ordinary phenomenon as we see people migrate from troubled lands to happy lands. The first settlers who migrated, especially to such lands as North America,(Canada, USA) and Australia, soon forgot that they themselves moved from wars, famine and oppression in their mother lands. And a few hundred years later their descendants cannot accept or tolerate today’s similar migrations, with many bothered by the presence of newer immigrants to the extent that they freely trouble them to different degrees – and thus appears the infamous “racist person,” because today the small-minded entitled ones are now focused on those other ethnicities that are moving around the globe. But now we can ask ourselves, why are they moving around?

I think most of us who read and pay attention to current affairs know the pressures facing people in their homelands; pressures caused by global neocolonial capitalism and control that have created a chaotic world and have made the lives of local populations so difficult that, as much as they all terribly miss their birthplaces, they still have no choice but to move away for a safer life.

I have now been living most of my long life in Canada, so one would think this is my home now. Then why don’t I feel that way? Because the first settlers think they own the land, and do not want to accept that the land was stolen, that they abused the people who were living here for thousands of years, and now they are abusing others from different ethnicities, even the ones who were born here but are not white.

Canada’s government claims this is a multicultural country, and to some extent that surely is the case. Many programs are in place to help newcomers, and especially their children, to fit in, adjust and integrate into their new Canadian life. I myself participated in some of these wonderful programs in helping newcomers.

But is there enough, if any, education for the older settlers of Canada – the ones who were born here for a few generations over a few hundred years? They must be educated and made aware that they must respectfully accept ones like me and others who have been Canadian citizens for many decades, as well as their children and grandchildren who were born here and have the same rights as those of the first settler’s children and grandchildren. I, for one, have experienced that many harbour a hatred towards others. They may be able to hide it for some time, but they often cannot control themselves and eventually show their core bigoted beings, and cause problems.

Now please allow me to give you firsthand events and experiences that I witnessed, felt myself, and heard from others. I want you to be the judge of each yourself. Allow me to identify the characters with their colour of skin or their ethnicity. I am not here to point at individuals – I am just trying to make points . . . Thanks!

Workplace: A middle eastern woman and a white woman are working in the same office. Both are computer programmers working in an open office space for a software company, and each has clients that call them for support. One day, the middle eastern woman left the room to go help a client directly, but when she returned, her phone had disappeared from her desk. As she looked here and there, not understanding what had happened to her phone, one of her co-workers whispered that the white woman had taken it and put it in her desk drawer. The office manager was soon involved, first to take the phone back and secondly to ask her why she had done that.

Our middle eastern woman heard her saying: “A sand n….. doesn’t need a phone. She came from the Sahara sitting at a desk with a phone. No, she doesn’t need it…” Well, they took it from her and gave it back to the “sand n…..”. But what did she feel hearing such things from that ignorant woman? Hmm, I think it is obviou

Racist behaviour is part of the core of one’s being, which includes jealousy, feelings of insecurity accompanied by a belief that I am better, so why does she/he have the same thing/status/job as me…

Different work place: The Oklahoma City bombing happened. Not knowing about it, I went to work the next morning, put my stuff on my desk, and went to the kitchen to get tea for myself. There, a white man watching the TV news turned to me angrily, saying: “Look what you guys are doing? Why don’t you go home and kill each other there? We are peaceful people here…”

I stared at him, not knowing what he was talking about, when I heard… “Hey, shut up, she lives here. The event took place in the United States…” The kind man speaking was another co-worker – a nice white man, and he apologized to me, though I still did not know what everyone was talking about. Through my friends and co-workers, I eventually learned that some terrorists had bombed a government building in Oklahoma City, with over a hundred dead and hundreds more injured. It was a bad day that day. Within just a few days they found out who did it – Timothy McVeigh, a white man who had problems with his government. I bought the morning newspaper to be sure about the event, then went to work and walked right up to the racist man’s desk. I threw the newspaper on his desk: “Hey idiot, it was a white man who blew up the building, and he killed many including 19 children, and hundreds wounded…his name was Timothy McVeigh, you racist prick…”

Then I went back to my desk. I heard the laughter of the people around him, because he said, “I am not racist.”

That racist nurtured the belief that if a bad and bloody event happened, it must absolutely be the fault of the ones who were not like him, and, in addition, that people like him would not do violence. He couldn’t believe he is a racist, and didn’t see that the “people like him” argument doesn’t hold since European colonializations had resulted in the violent transfer of black people from their homelands to be used as slaves; an atrocity that white people imposed on black people, and on the Indigenous of North America.

I believe nobody at home told him that cruel and extremist people are everywhere and in every culture. Nobody at school taught him that every country on this planet has heroes and well educated people, but also have criminals. Perhaps everyone around him encouraged the assumption that he and his people are better, and that white people have the best society, and are not able to perpetrate such acts.

But I have to be honest, the above two incidents were the only two racist experiences I had while working in the computer field for over 12 years.

When the September 11 tragedy happened, many from different ethnicities were attacked and blamed in America and even here in Canada, and for me it was not at my work but through my white husband’s family that I was accused and spoken to disrespectfully.

Later on, I left the computer field and went back to school to study psychology. I concurrently picked up a couple of related part-time jobs to gain experience in my new field of study. One was working with battered women and one was with autistic children.

Soon I began working for the government. Could I ever imagine that, in my new line of work, the “people field,” I would face or witness even more racism? Not in my wildest dreams. I came to see that government employees also needed to be educated about working in a kind, respectful and healthy manner with the newcomers in their midst.

In my book of short stories there are a couple of tales about racism, one from Iran, my birthplace, and one about my experiences in Canada. Both were stories inspired by actual events wherein I tried to portrait the ugly hurtfulness of racism stemming from ignorance.

In many ways, the racist does not even want to accept that she/he is a racist; they just speak their mind and move on as if they were commenting on the weather. If you bring an inappropriate statement to their attention, they act surprised and say they are not racist – that it is simply not true. What they forget or do not understand is that the racist does not determine if they are racist or not. It is the victim who has been hurt by that person who determines the nature of racist act.

You may say: “Oh, these days everyone calls whatever they don’t like to hear a racist act.” Well, I am going to open up more examples – not in the form of stories, but as personal testimonies from others. If you agree that what you read is wrong, hurtful and bigoted, then take it upon yourselves to do your best to educate others you meet on your life’s path, and be a positive force in eliminating racism and bigotry.

After all, I’m sure you are already aware that there is only one human race on this planet. If we speak different languages, have darker or lighter skin, or different eye colours, it is all due to the environment, climate and surroundings we were born and raised in. You do not need to be a biologist to know that.

Nonetheless, believe me, I have even seen people who studied biology deny the reasons for why there are these differences among humans. They may even have strong beliefs that white people are the superior race, and they have always been white.

For instance, a young white woman with a Bachelor of Archaeology stated that white people were always white. When challenged about what she must have learned during discussions in anthropology courses that contradicted such ideas, she acknowledged that, but continued to give examples of her belief. The person relating this incident was quite surprised to see this woman ignore research and course materials that challenged her beliefs. The young lady could not be made to understand how wrong her claim was, even when a well-educated white man was brought over to explain things to her. She then switched tactics and claimed she didn’t say what she had said. Why did she now deny it?

Did she realize how embarrassing her claim was? Did she just want to hurt the one who challenged her? But why? I guess I’ll never know.

In this day and age, in libraries and on the internet, you can find useful and valid information to educate ourselves about why one person may be black, another is brown, and another is white. Why are our eye colours or hair colours so different? These features don’t derive from ethics or morality, do they? I believe it is up to every individual to determine these truths and use them in the fight against racism. It is unwise and malevolent to let racists say and do as they please.

White people, like others, inherit their colour under the influence of their own environments over many years of evolution; not overnight or over decades, but over thousands of years. Many of them may choose to believe they were always white because it gives them the feeling of superiority. The important thing is to not let them get away with their comments, but challenge them. After all, we are living together in this society, and if it’s not a perfect system and is unable to educate these people, then it is up to us to challenge any wrongs.

Another incident had a white older woman in her sixties calling an even older woman, who was of a different ethnicity and a Canadian citizen for decades. There was already a history of this woman putting up with the behavior of her husband’s family for almost three decades. That family had consulted together, and this was the conclusion. She called the couple, making sure her own brother was there as well, and said:
“I am going to talk for a few minutes. You will hear me, then accept sand acknowledge.”

Our lady was surprised and sarcastically asked: “Where is the democracy in that?” Predictably the white woman loudly and aggressively said: “There is no democracy in that!” Then the white woman went on a rude, loud and demanding rant, with our lady thinking, “Who talks like this? Not a well-read, well-educated woman!”

If she tried to say something, the white woman said: “Choo-Choo-Choo!” Cutting the story short, at some point our lady who tolerantly was listening, lost her patience and yelled at her to stop, then told the white woman what she deserved to hear. After that event, our lady never talked to that white woman again, knowing that you cannot reason with a person who talks like that. But is that what has to happen for someone to learn how bad and wrong their behaviour is?

Well, I wasn’t surprised to hear that the white woman didn’t learn anything from the event, and she, with her aggressive behaviour even felt as if she herself was the victim.

You should know that the woman who was ordered to obey, accept and acknowledge is by far more educated than the white one, and had worked professionally from the moment she began her new life in Canada. So the question is, why did the white woman and her family think they could talk to her the way she did? Did they think of her as beneath them in some way, like a servant or a slave? Well, we all know one cannot even talk to one’s servant that way these days!

Where did their insecurities lie? Baffling!

So I leave it to you my dear readers. Who can talk to another human being in this day and age the way that oblivious woman did? Only a racist one who never understood that what she had done was simply wrong.

In another example, a woman arrived at the house of her sister-in-law. She had been married to her white husband for three years and this was the first meeting with this sister. As soon as her children arrived home from elementary school, the sister-in-law literally jumped out of her seat to tell her very young children: “I told you – you have an uncle!” She repeated the phrase emphatically, and the kids, as well as our woman of colour, stared at her wondering what she meant by that.

Well, my dear readers, right there, that woman was planting the seed of fear of others in her children. Meaning, ** You don’t see your uncle because he married her and she won’t let him visit. **

So, she asked her husband: “How often have you been visiting before?”
“Every three or four years.”
“Well, we were married three years ago, so why is she saying this? It is
wrong; look at the kids . . . they are stumped . . .”

“Ah… don’t bother with her… she is what she is… ignore her…” On that visit, our woman learned how bad that sister-in-law was.

Soon a discussion about skilled workers came up, about how they become deskilled as
soon as they arrive to Canada. The discussion was nice among other family
members, but when they got to the topic of deskilling doctors, the oblivious one
screamed: “I don’t want an Ethiopian doctor to touch me…” Her own sister said: “But they are dealing with many more diseases and conditions than we do here, which makes them even more experienced and knowledgeable than Canadian doctors.”

Our woman of colour wondered if, by that comment, the sister-in-law meant she didn’t like that the doctors are black, or was it because she thought their science of medicine is different than in Canada.

Well, her problems didn’t end with that particular scene. Her sister-in-law continued to make hurtful comments, both in front of her and gossiping behind her back – to the point where she disconnected from the whole family. Yet, my source says she doesn’t see this as only the one sister-in-law’s fault, because the rest of that family did not stop her; indeed they participated as well with disrespectful and judgmental comments and actions, again to the extent that the woman of colour pulled back so as not to deal with this nonsensical behaviour.

But is that what we have to do to have peace? If every one of us gets to the point of pulling back, how can we claim to be sharing together in a multicultural society? If we are multicultural, we must appreciate the meaning of it, engage with and learn to respect one another in order to live in harmony.

Right?

Well, I, for one, don’t see things as being healthy and united thus far. I have lived in Canada (Ottawa and Vancouver), in the US (California), and in Greece, since 1980s. But most of my life has been spent here in my current home of Vancouver, Canada since 1995. I have observed many of the unfair disputes and challenges that people of colour endure when they enter an entirely white family. To chronicle all the examples related to me, I would require a separate book of hundreds of pages. My request here is that we recognize that we must work to help each other fashion a better Canada for our children, the new generation of this country. If we are one of the best countries in the world, then
we have to work on ourselves, challenge the wrong behaviour of the racists, and be a better example to the whole world.

Now here is a scandalous one, about which I wrote an article last year. This is in regards to finding mass graves of First Nation children. I knew that up until 1996 in Winnipeg and 1997 in Saskatoon, there were still residential schools holding children taken by force from First Nations communities. We have all seen reports of the bad treatment they suffered there, not to mention how the ones who survived those schools came out with no proper education or skills, but only learned to be meek Christians. So they emerged with no prospects for employment, just broken spirits…

With that news, I had many sleepless nights. I kept asking myself, what would I do if anyone wanted to take my children away from me. Why did the educated, politically aware white people of this land did not challenge their government and churches?

For instance, my own white husband is smart and well-educated, so I asked him about this, and to my surprise he said: “Hmm, I don’t remember anyone at home talking about First Nations, nor at school. What could I know as a child? We just went about our lives with our entertainments and Christmas and birthdays.”

Well, I used my partner’s comments in another article, but not many white people were happy with the report of these events, and some were angry with my article. One wrote to me: “What do you know about our childhood and what we were taught?” She was referring to the comment I had made: “If churches took these people’s children and the government allowed it until recently, was it because the first settlers never educated themselves or their children on this historical cruelty?”

I actually knew about that woman’s childhood well enough. I knew her mother from one party I was at consisting of all white people except for me and my 10-year-old girl, who was born in Ottawa. We were talking with one nice woman, when the mother of the woman who was upset with my article approached. As soon as she saw me and my daughter, her jaw dropped, and with an angry demeanor said: “What are they doing
here?”

The kind woman pushed back firmly and beautifully, but it hurt my little girl a lot and she kept telling me she wanted to go home. I told her: “Darling, you have to get used to these kinds of people; be in their faces that we are here to live our lives in this country, just like them. I am proud of you, and be proud of yourself. You are a good little one.”

Now how could the woman who did not like my article learn anything at her home about others in this country, with that unkind woman as her mother?

I have one last example of the racism rooted in some families and the level of not accepting others. My source, another woman of colour, has a white husband who wrote to his mother, who was well into her 90s, that he is tired of the unacceptable ways his family had treated his wife, and that he does not want to have anything more to do with them. He commented that he is very happy with his life and did not understand why his family cannot be happy for him. The mother never contacted her son to ask about all that, but just accepted the reports from the rest of her family. Instead, the mother
sent a birthday card (a few weeks late) to her son with a picture of a sheep. Above the sheep was written “Sheep: Happy”

The couple have had the happiest time of their life together, but he was called a sheep for his happiness? Why?

How could a mother’s son be happy with an outsider? Can you picture that man’s face after reading his birthday card? How about his wife; was she shocked? No, she was not shocked at all. The son at the time of receiving his birthday card just retired and he was 65 years old.

Now judge all these little samples of racism, unkindness and brutality, which are clear symptoms of ignorance and entitlement. We all are responsible for these kinds of behaviour, and should be aware of heedless people who are oblivious to their own actions/words, think they know it all, and can just hurt others and move along.

As for myself, in many ways I do not even consider myself a woman of colour nor white. They say Aryans are fairly light skin; just not pinkish white. Being a descendant of Aryans makes me what? Honestly, to me it is not important at all, as I am sure Aryans, like other ethnicities outside Africa, are a result of the adaptations of many generations of different black people who first moved out of Africa into Asia, and from there later populated other regions of the world, including Europe where people then became lighter-skinned.

These movements and changes took thousands of years, and we all became what we are on each corner of this planet due to local environmental and cultural pressures. What is important is that, at this time in our history, few have learned to live properly in harmony with others, the very reason we are in this mess.

At this very sensitive time, with our climate in chaos, we have to see, and help others to see, what is significant. We must all care more, organize and cooperate to find ways to keep each other safe and adapt to the huge changes coming our way. The harshly changing weather attacks each part of our globe ferociously, leaving many deceased or missing, with many more homeless. Can we refute any of that? When can we grow intelligent enough as a global community to see the real problems, instead of engaging in petty jealousies and interfering in others’ lives?

We should challenge racists, and direct their attentions to real problems. If I do not confront ignorance, then I am turning my back on compassion, gentleness, kindness, acceptance and a virtuous life for all.

If I don’t speak out, I would be just one more self-seeking person roaming this planet. I assure you: I will confront wrong-doing when I see it! I will challenge the perpetrators, and I will do my best to show them how wicked and spiteful they are! But will you? Do we have time for any of the above ruthless behaviours? Isn’t it time to see what is happening to our only home and put our energies toward solutions?

Aren’t harmful behaviours stopping us from seeing and solving the real problems? At the time I am concluding this essay, for several months now Israel has once more been destroying Gaza. Finger-wagging elites are watching, and advising Israel not to kill children… How funny.

Nevertheless, many compassionate people all across the globe are fighting back and pushing their governments to stop the carnage. Yet, at the same time, here in Canada, and especially in the USA, there are some white Christians who are attacking mosques or
synagogues. Some of these Christians do not like Muslims, and some don’t like Jews. How ironic! I leave it all to you, Earth’s Citizens.

As for me, with deep sadness, I have to consider that, with the huge number of oblivious, self-absorbed and entitled people who are roaming around the world with no regard for anyone or anything but themselves, we may very well end as a species even before any of the scientists’ predictions take place.

No worries – Earth will restart without us yet again.

Nasreen Pejvack
Jan. 19. 2024

https://www.examine-consider-act.ca/